Government plans to severely impact on ugly people

25 Jan

Alcohol has helped ugly people to have sex since time immemorial

Dublin, Ireland – Current government plans to curb alcohol consumption could have irreparable consequences for ugly people, according to the Irish Institute for the Aesthetically Challenged (IIAC), a lobby group for Ireland’s ugly population.

The IIAC have warned that a decrease in the level of alcohol consumed by the general public could severely hinder ugly people’s chance’s of establishing and maintaining social and, at fortunate times, sexual relationships with others.

“The ramifications of this plan for ugly people will be severe” said Cormac O’Donnell, the current chairman of the IIAC. “We’re reliant on variable factors like alcohol and lighting to mask the true nature of our hideous physical attributes. Without alcohol our chances of ‘picking up’ are severely hindered”

The government, whose plans include banning the sale of alcohol in supermarkets, has rejected the warnings of the IIAC, claiming that physical appearance only plays a minimal role in both social and sexual relationships.

“The coalition is of the opinion that the suggestions of the IIAC are largely without merit” said Caroline King, a spokeswoman for the governing Labour party. “It’s erroneous to believe that alcohol is the only reason why beautiful people would ever socialize with ugly people, just look at Mick Hucknell”

O’Donnell called the government rebuttal ‘wholly naive’ and ‘somewhat hypocritical’ given the state of many of those currently ensconced on the front bench.

Mick Hucknell, the former lead of Simply Red, could not be reached for comment on the matter.

Advertisements

One Response to “Government plans to severely impact on ugly people”

  1. Mary Jackson January 25, 2012 at 11:13 pm #

    Like it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: