Mario Balotelli. Fact or Fiction.

14 Jan

Balotelli; The Premier League’s greatest ‘man-child’

The pupils and staff of Xaverian school received a shock visit this week after Manchester City forward, Mario Balotelli popped in briefly to use the loo.

Not prone to normal behaviour, Balotelli’s latest act is largely in keeping with a man known for his wild eccentricity.

With this in mind, Laymans News has constructed a list of alleged acts perpetrated by the Italian in his short but colourful career, some of which may be true, others false. See if you can spot fact from fiction.
  • Balotelli recently transformed the  landscaped back garden of his rented mansion in to a race track for quad bikes.
  • He once threw water balloons at a Serie A disciplinary hearing.
  • Was involved in a fracas with four bouncers after breaking the “no touching” rule at a strip club.
  • He once escorted an errant Manchester schoolboy back to his school, then promptly confronted the child’s alleged bullies.
  • Has also started fights at training with Kompany, Boateng, Tevez and Richards.
  • He was allegedly seen at the AC Milan superstore on multiple occasions while playing for Inter Milan.
  • Once went on TV wearing an AC Milan shirt with his name on the back while playing for Inter.
  • After the FA cup final, he said “ I have been sh*t this season, am I allowed say sh*t on TV? All of which was broadcast live.
  • Once broke up with a girlfriend via text whilst she was presenting a live show.
  • Slept with an Italian model while his girlfriend was downstairs.
  • Drove his car into a women’s prison because he wanted to “look around”
  • Has connections with the Italian mafia, having testified in court at a Mafia trial.

Parking spaces. Legal or not, Balotelli doesn’t care.

  • Despite having his car’s impounded on more than 20 occasions and accumulated up thousands of pounds in fines in the process, Balotelli regularly parks illegally rather than search for actual parking spaces.
  • Won £25,000 in a casino one night, then proceeded to give £1,000 to a tramp outside.
  • He brought his Ipad to the bench for Italy’s international against the Faroe Islands because he wanted to play games on it.
  • Became the face of a firework safety campaign a few days after setting his house on fire from letting off fireworks indoors.
  • Chanted “Rooney, Rooney” at the prostitute who claimed to have slept with Wayne Rooney.
  • Italy had just brought out a brand new home kit. At the start of the second half for their first match wearing the new kit, Balotelli came out in the old kit claiming he didn’t like the new one. Nobody else had changed.
  • When asked by police why he had £25,000 on his person, he coolly replied, ”Because I’m rich”.
  • Sent to John Lewis by his mother to buy essentials for the house, like an ironing board, Mario came back with a giant trampoline, a Vespa and Scalectrix.
  • After he won the European Golden Boy trophy,  Balotelli said he had never heard of Jack Wilshere,  he then said would find out who he was so he could remind Wilshere he came second.

If you answered false to any of these, you’re supposedly wrong. All of these incidents have been reported at some stage in the media as actual acts undertaken by the much maligned Italian international.

Balotelli, a man who can be accused of many things,  but fortunately boring is not one of them.

2 Responses to “Mario Balotelli. Fact or Fiction.”

  1. Rick March 14, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    I like to think he has created a quad bike race track in his back garden. I know the stories of him handing money out on the street are true, and of him paying for everyone in a garage when he filled up his car. I’m not a City fan, but he’s certainly a character and you have to like him for it.

  2. Jadwal Liga Inggris January 30, 2013 at 7:07 am #

    Yup EPL will miss him

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