Coppers-has it changed for the worse?

3 Jan

Are women like this becomingly increasingly rare in Dublin's most popular nightclub?

Dublin, Ireland-A Kildare man expressed dissatisfaction this week at what he believes to be a growing difficulty in ‘picking up’ young women at Ireland’s most noteworthy nightspot Copper Face Jacks.

“It’s not as at it once was, all the girls seem to be a bit more up themselves than before” expressed John O’Toole, a primary school teacher now based in North Dublin. “In the old days you could just blow in a girl’s ear and she would have you round the back (for oral sex) in no time”.

It’s believed that the popular perception of female attendees at Coppers being ‘more up themselves’, or having greater pride and dignity, is symptomatic of a significant change in the demographics of those attending the Harcourt Street club. Many patrons have spoken of an increasing number of middle-class Dubliners’ attending in greater frequency.

This new wave of clientele has been to the chagrin of some, with voiced concern that these so-called ‘blow-ins’ have inextricably altered the charm of a club once known for the loose-morals and frivolity of those who shared its halls on late nights.

“Its awful whats happened, Coppers will never be the same as it was” complained Barry-Joe, a former welder from Westmeath. “Sure the girls might be better looking and dressed than before but if they aint putting out then whats the point of them being there”.

The concerns of men like Barry-Joe have not met with much sympathy from women who frequent the club. Michelle, a 28-year-old solicitor from Blackrock believes that the problem lies with the attitudes of the men seeking attention in  the club.

“I don’t think the men there (Coppers) really understand how to talk to girls. You can’t just go up to a girl and ask her if she’s a parking ticket because she’s got fine written all over her, and then hope to have sex with her later. These men need to be more considerate in their approach”.

Michelle’s sentiment has been echoed by many female patrons of the club. Common complaints made against male patrons include; breathing heavily whilst in close proximity to a woman; excessive sweating of the brow and armpits; making fun of one’s mother; and wearing the same shoes that they use for attending Sunday mass.

Despite these comments and recent changes, Coppers is still maintaining its position as one of the capitals busiest nightclubs with ample numbers attending, even on weeknight’s. Some experts believe this to be indicative of ‘social-compromise equilibrium’, a new social theory that posits that small groups tend to gravitate to spots that derive the greatest degree of composite utility (or satisfaction) to the group.

Professor James Murrow, an anthropologist with expertise in group behaviour, believes that Coppers currently offers the best compromise for people seeking a good night out in Dublin.

“Sure there are clubs with loads of pretty people and other clubs where the women are bit more free and loose. But Coppers provides the greatest mix. It may not be as easy for the men as once was but the changing demographics of the past few years mean men are still drawn by the attractiveness of many of the women in attendance. We call this social-compromise equilibrium and Coppers satisfies it like no other”.

Regardless of what theory Coppers purports to satisfy, the changing demography has caused many former regulars to stay away, including a large number of young women.

Amongst those choosing to abandon the old favourite include 29-year-old psychiatric nurse, Sinead Murphy.

“I used to go all the time you know. Sure it was a great place to get chatted up by the fellas. They were no Tom Sellecks like but they were on your wavelength. They were after the ride, we were after the ride and that was all there was too it.” Explained the former Garda from Wexford.

“But I wouldn’t go there now, all the fellas are slobbering after these D4 girls with their high heels and their Chanel No.5. I know they might look great but there’s no craic in them, I’d show these lads something those skinny bitches couldn’t.

The frustration of old patrons like Murphy and O’Toole are not theirs alone and there is strong evidence to suggest that an increasing number of former Coppers patrons of both sexes, particularly members of the Gardai and HSE, are going elsewhere for purposes of socializing, with some reported to be travelling as far as Galway in the hope of meeting partners of a more frivolous nature.

Also in the news: News from Leinster and the Luis Suarez effect

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70 Responses to “Coppers-has it changed for the worse?”

  1. B January 4, 2012 at 1:35 am #

    this is some absolute crap. coppers has always been full of middle class… garda and nurses are middle class professions …and d4’s aren’t that stuck up. they are as easy as any working class girls

    • laymansnews January 4, 2012 at 9:01 am #

      Its called satire, this isnt a serious news piece. Its playing on ill-perceived stereotypes.

      • Steoo January 4, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

        Jokes shouldn’t have to be explained. This is an excellent piece! B you’re an idiot!

      • C January 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

        You’re both idiots.. B’s joking as well.

      • D January 5, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

        Is there a trend developing here? Not sure what happened to A though

      • Aido January 6, 2012 at 1:33 am #

        Right here man, Copper faced slags is alwas gud 4 d roide

    • Swah January 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

      its a piss take man chill out

    • well January 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm #

      “garda and nurses are middle class professions” my arse they are

      • Iain Liam Ward January 5, 2012 at 10:04 am #

        There professions where a college education is ether a necessity or nearly impossible to get into with out.

      • DD January 6, 2012 at 2:33 am #

        Would you really call templemore a college? You dont even need a leaving cert to be a Garda.

      • Ed January 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

        @DD However, you do need a four year honours degree to become a nurse.

  2. Conor Foley January 4, 2012 at 10:01 am #

    B is obviously an idiot

    • Máirtin O'Brien January 6, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

      you are obviously an idiot, its clearly some sort of russian doll trick of irony, where you think he missed the initially irony, in being ironic, which is indeed ironic in itself.

      • laymansnews January 6, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

        I think people are starting to get lost in such a maze of irony. I’m not being ironic, seriously I’m not. Okay I am…..but I’m not.

  3. OracularSpectacular January 4, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    Brilliant. Hilarious take on the place. Well done!

  4. Barry Cunningham January 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    Although this article is obviously satire it is still sadly through to some extent. I used to love heading in there and meeting a lady of the larger variety from down the country but my efforts have been stifled in recent times with all the skinny minnies from D4 flooding the place.
    It was always a great place to find a lassie who wouldnt be great over the soft ground, but it seems those days are gone. That makes me sad

    • D January 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

      Echoing that Barry fer shure. I suppose it comes down to basic economics. From my memory those more robust ladies would occupy the same sq footage as two or three or the waif like attendees these days

    • Trevor Madden January 6, 2012 at 10:43 am #

      Ah Larry the wheels i remember back in the day yerself and meself used to scour the dancefloor at 4 in the morning looking for some auld boiler who had drank a bottle of buckfast too much.
      come onta fuck, dont be pulling the piss on me skinny minnies are as rare as a rocking horse shite. the place is full of dags and that is why we love it. The harder it is to get the salad dodger into the taxi the easier the ride and the better chance she has a set of lungs like a dyson. I always think of it as if i am doing a charity service for the wan, by boosting their self esteem.

      • Gucks. January 7, 2012 at 8:25 am #

        Class!

  5. boob January 4, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    gardai and nurse’s aren’t middle class. doctors, lawyers, accountants etc etc are considered middle class and they earn twice as much.

    • Jeb January 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

      i’m going to have to disagree with you there. seeing as the idea that any job is middle classed in ireland is retarded as we don’t have a class system, doctors and such would be upper class if anything. nurses and gardai are upper civil servants and are therefore middle class

      • boob January 5, 2012 at 9:35 am #

        nah get bent. upper class is the very wealthy, the people who were born rich and will always be rich; due to land and wealth acquired over generations.

      • Jeb January 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

        lol, you’re so wrong its not even funny. cause this is england and we have the landed gentry here…apparently

  6. boob January 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    nurses clean bums, and gardai just baby-sit drunks.

    • SSS January 4, 2012 at 8:33 pm #

      you’re an ass

      • boob January 5, 2012 at 9:36 am #

        er

  7. Krissie January 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    Haha psychiatric nurse & former garda, gas!

    • car January 6, 2012 at 1:43 am #

      loved her response..theeir no Tom Sellick like 🙂 ha ha

  8. Joe January 4, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    B you’re a fucking retard

  9. Aidan January 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    Great article.
    They were after the ride, we were after the ride and that was all there was too it.

    • laymansnews January 4, 2012 at 9:12 pm #

      The ride. The causation for all human endeavour.

  10. John Hennessy January 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    I caught crabs off a nurse in there one time.. was so worth it though… she licked me bolt hole clean too! 🙂

    • laymansnews January 4, 2012 at 7:01 pm #

      aptly put sir, a bolt hole can never be too clean.

    • mike F January 5, 2012 at 9:00 am #

      ha ha ha good one

    • Trevor Madden January 6, 2012 at 11:01 am #

      I think i know the lady in question. did she has a bush like a barbers bin?
      if she did any chance you got her name and number. the quare one gave me a little present too and id love to speak to her.
      the auld dag allowed me to ride the dirtbike after i had a stoinker like a stick of blackpool rock.

      i woke up the next morning with funburn all over my hands and knees and went looking for her bat cave again. She had done a legger and kindly given me a dose of the itch and left with my wallet and the kids santa presents. Think she was a guard if anyone can help??

  11. Mac January 4, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    brilliant article so true

  12. Ed January 4, 2012 at 8:23 pm #

    What’s a bolt hole?? Can I lick one please?!!!

    • laymansnews January 4, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

      Each to their own Ed. Each to their own!

  13. Dara January 4, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

    What a load of shite, not even funny.

  14. derek January 4, 2012 at 10:27 pm #

    Hilarious, and probably quite close to the truth.

  15. Clive January 4, 2012 at 11:02 pm #

    stupid cunts leaving comments on this crap

    • laymansnews January 4, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

      I assume youre being purposefully ironic. No person could really lack such self-awareness.

  16. poc January 4, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    This is a highly amusing article, however people shouldn’t be stereotypicalised by their profession or where they come from. Teachers are another group o professionals that can be found tearing up the dance floor of Coppers on a regular basis. Like Nurses, Doctors and Accounts,Teacher’s are hard working individuals with academic qualifications who like to let their hair down on a regular basis.

    Your chances of pulling a nurse or teacher in Coppers is higher then in other places simply because more of them go there as apposed to other places or professionals.

    For those of you who are failing to ‘pull’ in Coppers, try this method: Identify a target, approach, start a civilised conversation (don’t be too drunk) and finally, close. If that dosn’t work, move on.

    • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 1:22 am #

      True that Pete, True that!! Although another suggestion is to get gee-eyed drunk, do laps of the dancefloor and leer at nearby girls from the bar. As is the Coppers way.

    • L January 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm #

      Ha ha! “stereotypicalised”….. “apposed”…… “Teacher’s are”!!
      Please tell me you’re not a teacher. I would despair of the future of our nation, were the educators to be so blatantly uneducated but I’m assuming this reply is meant to be tongue-in-cheek!
      Great article!

      • Mnyeah February 7, 2012 at 12:20 am #

        “I would despair of the future of our nation, were the educators to be so blatantly uneducated” Christ, the word you’re looking for is “where.” If you’re going to slag off his spelling and grammar at least make sure yours is correct. Bah!

    • D January 5, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

      Good man Poc. Sober in Coppers. Love the humour on this site

  17. Cormac January 5, 2012 at 12:15 am #

    hahaha

    love it!

  18. Paudain January 5, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    I’m now 33 and used to love going to Coppers to find exactly what I love and crave ………. the larger woman! No its not a fetish. Larger women and larger the better are a real turn on. Theres notihing better than cuddling up to a big lady after sex from every position. Coppers just got to thin for me. I would love other suggestions on where to find these lovely ladies. Currently having to tavel much further to rural nightclubs to find them.

    • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 10:41 am #

      Fair play Paudain, clearly a man who likes to spread the love in more ways than one. I think you’ll find there are specialist websites that will cater to you needs.

    • Ed January 5, 2012 at 10:44 am #

      I just got sick in my mouth…..

  19. Jason January 5, 2012 at 11:03 am #

    “Michelle, a 28-year-old solicitor from Blackrock….”

    Laymansnews – Are you really afraid to name the pretend solicitors surname? You seem to have had no bother giving the surnames of the pretend Gardai and HSE workers! Hilarious!

    “Sure there are clubs with loads of pretty people and other clubs where the women are bit more free and loose….”

    Care to name this Club where the women are looser?

    • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 11:06 am #

      No Jason, I don’t care to name the club where the women are more loose. It’s merely a case of odds, the less men that are there, the better my chances.

  20. Sarah January 5, 2012 at 2:22 pm #

    Nurses and guards may be middle class, but they are still ‘blow in’ culchies who have no understanding of middle class norms i.e. I’m not interested in going home with you because you are going to inherit 50 acres

    • Ed January 5, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

      Sarah, you are a tit. Not all nurses and gardaí (not guards) are “blow in culchies.” I know a lot of nurses who would never dream of going to Coppers. At the end of the day, the majority of women who go to Coppers are slags, and the majority of men are desperate, seeking out ‘the easy ride’……. whether they are nurses, gardaí, accoutants, bankers, solicitors, doctors…….
      Occupation DOES NOT reflect loose morals!!

      • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

        Harsh Ed.You say ‘slags’ others would say ‘sexually liberated’.

    • D January 5, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

      Comon Sarah, today’s agricultural land is tomorrows development land(well it was back in 2006 anyway). Plus think about the impending world food shortage. I predict in the next five years that potatoes will sell for about three fiddy each and heads of cabbage will easily top the tenner mark(though that’s problem not a concern if you are one of the skinny ladies referred to in the article)

    • Mavis January 5, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

      Ed, I totally agree with you that Sarah is a tit.

      Sarah if it were not for the Blow In Culchies as you say it then you Dubliners would live in a very boring and tedious world without the charm, good humour and real world attitudes of those of us who live in the real world outside of the Pale and I therefore think that Coppers would not be the place it is and has been over the last number of years without the fierce loyal ‘Culchie’ attendees …..

      • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

        Try and keep it civil. Reserve the tit speak for ornithological conversations.

      • Ed January 5, 2012 at 9:12 pm #

        Ok, bird is the word so!!

  21. Dáire January 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Good stuff. I think the real reason that guys who are dissatisfied with CFJ only have themselves to blame. The same fellers who are still “wearing the same shoes that they use for attending Sunday mass” are only now noticing that women are looking for a bit more than the usual turn up and get the ride approach. It’s all down to laziness. If they take a page out of the girls book and make an effort then I’m sure they’d get more results, sexy results. In other words, “You’d better start swimming, Or you’ll sink like a stone, For the times they are a-changin”.

    • laymansnews January 5, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

      Not sure Bob Dylan will be played in CFJ any time soon.

      • sean January 6, 2012 at 4:44 pm #

        Did the Saw Doctors not write those lyrics?

      • laymansnews January 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

        Indeed the N17 is not a road,but Galway code for a loose lady.

  22. fivegirlsaroundtheworld January 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    Er…only the gardai and nurses have good taste in music that’s why. As a foreigner in Dublin, I have to say that the djs in coppers are on form. Best place to shake it any day.

    • easy_e (not the rapper) January 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

      The dj’s??? You mean the person who presses play on auld shitty cd player they have there since some of the CFJ originals started going there and are still going there. They could try some time to frequent the songs a little bit!!! no true dub likes listening to barn dance music… (yeeee know waaaat i mean budddd)

  23. 'lectriclegz January 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    This is SO funny. Properly Irish in every way and on every level. Lovin’ it !! I’m NOT being ironic by the way.

  24. jorge January 9, 2012 at 12:40 am #

    Despite the heavy satire there is a point to be made. I’ve been going to coppers on and off for the last 7/8 years. I’ve definitely noticed a shift (no pun intended) in the clientèle. It’s now somehow crept into the mainstream so much so that you may even see some z-list 15 minute celebrity posing in there, it’s lost its rustic charm. Probably be leaving Ireland this year anyway so I shall endeavour to find an equivalent abroad!

    • Trevor Madden May 17, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

      There is nothing id rather than get myself some big jessie from coppers who smells like she has fallen out of a somalian pirates boat, nips you could play the playstation on, with a face like a clumsy beekeeper and who has a bush like brian mays plughole….

      only to have to get an std test and find out the nurse plunging the cotton bud up my flute was the very beast who gave me the disease.

      oh how they were they days

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Loss of Self « The Serial Blogamist - May 23, 2012

    […] messy and disgusting with pissed and pervy clientele. In short – a bit of a hell hole. Read this for a bit more […]

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